From a very early age I can remember I had an obsession with cleaning. I remember I had to share a bedroom with my younger sister, who when I was 12 she was 6, and that’s a big age gap to a 12 year old. I was transitioning into my teen years and I had to share my space with dolls, legos and a very messy 6 year old.
Fast forward to present and I’m still the same clean freak. I like my space to have organization, to be super clean yet feel warm and cozy to anyone that steps foot in it. If you showed up at any time, most likely my apartment would be annoyingly tidy but also a space you could curl up with a blanket and hang. When Marie Kondo’s book came out about getting rid of the things that you currently don’t use, I was already one step ahead of the game. Its therapeutic for me to go through my cupboards, cabinets and bathroom drawers and toss stuff I don’t use (like those sample size beauty products I got in that monthly subscription I’ve since cancelled that I swore I would eventually use…nope).
However when it came to my closet, the story was different. I’ve moved twice in the last 3 years and through both moves I’ve held on to clothes that fit me 3+ years ago….saving them for some future time I may fit into them again. Off the top of my head I know I have 4 pairs of jeans, 5 dresses, 4-5 pairs of shorts, and a number of crop tops that Im hanging on to for the day I finally lose the 10 lbs I’ve gained since they last fit.
The thing is, those clothes aren’t doing anything beneficial for me, quite honestly the opposite. Everytime I see them I wish myself smaller. Anytime I try them on, they’re a reminder of how my body is no longer the same. As if I need an actual tool to tell me that my size is larger than it was 3 year ago, these clothes serve as that.
What those clothes don’t remind me of is the time spent in the gym over the last 3 years. The muscle gained and the sweat equity put in. They don’t tell of the life lived and the memories made. They don’t represent the personal growth and the battles I’ve fought to truly love my body and fix my relationship with food. Those clothes come from a time where I was obsessive about my food and about staying a certain size but instead of remembering that, they just tell me today’s body is not good enough because it’s not the body I once had.
Sound familiar? I bet you can think of at least one thing in your closet right now that you’re wishing your body smaller so you can fit into it. I bet you’re putting a lot of your “success” or determining your progress based solely on if you can or cannot fit into that piece of clothing. When we do this, we’re setting ourselves up for a dark road. That piece of clothing says NOTHING about the actual work you’re putting in, who you are as a person, or all of the progress you’ve made towards being a healthier/happier person. Hanging on to those pieces of clothing isn’t promoting your body acceptance or self love so toss that sh*t right now and feel the freedom.
Go out and buy a couple of new pieces that make you feel like a babe. Feeling like a babe means different things to all of us. If it means a brand new pair of LuLuLemon leggings, get them. If it means a new pair of work slacks that hug in all the right places, yasss girl! Maybe it means a new sweater and tall boots for the fall. I don’t care what you buy as long as when you put it on you’re thinking “DAMN I LOOK GOOD!”
Laurie King said it best “Find clothes that fit YOUR body, stop fitting your body into clothes” It’s actually way more flattering to wear clothes that are your current size rather than trying to squeeze into clothes that you once fit into several lbs ago. Plus, it feels damn good to put on a pair of pants that go on like butter rather than snaking and shimmying your way into some size 2’s that you have to squat in several times in order to zip.
I don’t have any kids myself but September and the start of a new school year will always feel like a fresh start for me and I’m sure it does for you too! We send our youth into the new school year with a fresh wardrobe, there is no reason you can’t clean out the old and start with some new fresh pieces to your wardrobe that make you feel like your best self. Do yourself a HUGE favor and take some time this weekend or next week to go through your closet and finally toss those clothes that don’t currently fit you. I promise you this is a major step in your self love, those pieces of clothing are doing nothing for you except tell you that you’re not where you used to be. We don’t need that kind of energy! You’re working on becoming your best self, you’re eating in a way that makes you feel your best, you’re trying to fit in more movement for your day, you’re doing more things that bring you joy and you do NOT need an old pair of jeans to crash the party.
I’ve got my old clothes in a bag right now to drop off at the local Goodwill and it feels dang good. I hope you find as much freedom in Marie Kondo’ing your closet as I did.